Valparaiso, Indiana, U.S.A.
Mikey, fourth entry, posting in.
This past week or so has been something else. Work hasn't been giving me too many hours. Last week I had three days off, which is pretty peculiar, since normally I just have one or two. This week I had three days off again, with not the best of hours, either. The fellow making the schedule said ti was an honest mistake, when I pointed it out to him, so that might be corrected with the next schedule.
Whatever, though. I think it actually has been nice having this much time off. Last week the schedule was set that I started work on Monday, then every other day I worked. One day added doesn't sound like much, but I've found myself appreciating work more instead of dreading it. I think that I mentioned that in my previous entry, but it's true. When people at the drive-thru window wish me a nice day in return, I don't mutter "I'll try," but rather I smile back and say "thank you".
In fact, I've actually been visiting the place on a regular basis, even on my days off. Sure, it's to grab a double stack and check the schedule, but I find it nice also interact with my coworkers while I'm out of uniform...just for a little bit, though.
Speaking of which, I need to take care of laundry. Badly.
Anyways, where have the days gone? My weeks seem to start and end with the schedule at work. When a new one is put up, I need to plan the whole week around it. And this given free time...well, it hasn't been bad in the least, actually. I don't care about the money I won't be making; it's only just money. There are so many more important things than money.... If I were to work at Wendy's for the rest of my life only making enough money to pay rent for a low-level apartment, as well as food, miscellaneous bills, charity, and a little for myself, I would be happy. Who needs a giant house or the new BMW with eleventy-thousand added features or whatever else? What makes me happy is people, God, and...well, little things. Out in front of the apartment building is a small flower. It's growing at the end of the sidewalk where it meets the street. It's grown pretty tall and the flower itself is pretty peculiar, seeming that the pink petals are more wiry and broad than other flowers I've seen. I haven't even seen this kind before...but just that it's there, somehow, makes me sorta smile just thinking about it.
...okay, sorry if that sounded cheesy. I'll try to think of something better next time.
Anyways, like I was saying, the days have passed me by quite quickly. Why? Well...a couple reasons. That being that I've been left to myself. I stayed the night at the Price's a few times this week. Unfortunately their alarm clocks do nothing for me, so I've slept in a little bit more than I wanted. When I finally do wake up at whatever p.m. it might be, I go to a computer and get on, checking out what's happening. After an hour or two, I get bored, and, having nothing else to do with my day off/free time before work, I go lay down a little bit to look up at the ceiling to think a little bit.
...and then pass out.
Accidentally, mind you!
Something that my roommates haven't accepted, as well as a lot of people, is that I have a problem with sleeping. It isn't that I can't sleep, but that I do too much of it. It's just something that has become prominent ever since I moved out of my parents' place. Back then, they would wake me up if it went past 12-noon if I didn't need to be anywhere before. But now that I went on my own, I've found myself accidentally sleeping until 6 p.m. at times or even after! I remember one day not becoming active until 11 at night! ...well, those days of sleeping that late are past me...but still, I am a late and heavy sleeper. And also alarm clocks don't do me any help, either. F.Y.I., I've had four alarm clocks set at the same time, and those have failed to rouse me out of bed to face the day. All that happens is a groggy me gets up and shuts them all of, figuring in my groggy mind I'm going to lie back down and slowly wake back up. That...doesn't happen, to say the least.
Now if an actual person wakes me up, that's different. A person I can't shut off and tell to shut up; they are another human being. And also people just sort of have me instantly wake up. ...too bad I've heard explicitly before "Mikey, I'm not going to wake you up."
*sigh...I wonder why I moved into here sometimes. At times I feel a bit over-burdened by Fallon. She has this sort of attitude where she likes having things her own way, and if you disrupt that, she can get pretty vocal about it. So sometimes it's like I'm living in her shadow here, afraid I might do something wrong she won't like, and I'll definitely hear about it and get the cold shoulder for a couple days.
That's not to say she's a bad person. We all have our bad sides. She's actually pretty cool when viewed overall. She has pretty neat creativity, as well as a friendly personality with an odd and often-times humorous personality. Oh yeah, and I don't know if I've mentioned before, but she's going to art school. She's really great at drawing. ...okay, Fallon, I'll put the link in here! Oh yeah! Teh blog too; she mentions me in quotes at times. Heh.... Well, continuing on, I don't plan to give you any "dirt" on either of my roommates, nor on me, letting you know (...okay, maybe some about me...well, actually a lot...but it isn't really dirt, because I'm not trying to hide it or anything, and that's because I like having an attitude that I have nothing to hide; you'll hear about my faults and failures, trust me).
In all honesty, though, I'll be somewhat sad to leave here come next month. It has really been something of a journey for me. I haven't bonded with Ryan and Fallon as much as I wanted to, sadly. But what I have done is found out what sort of stuff I'm made of when on my own. I've found plenty bad parts, as well as many things by which I was actually pretty surprised. I've learned about depending on myself, and how I can fail miserably at that. I've learned about this sleeping...thing, whatever you want to say it is. I've learned about depending on others, others depending on me, and have had a nice look at life in the overall picture. I've learned that washing dishes as you use them is probably the best way for people to do it, instead of "rotating" (for an example of dish-washing gone wrong, I direct your attention, ladies and gents, to the fourth roommate, the "crockpot monster"). I've learned that mostly talking to your roommates over the internet, when in reality you all live under the same roof, hardly provides for any sort of closeness or intimacy. ...this is actually going to be the thing that I will really miss the most. When I moved in, I was expeecting to gain another family. But unfortunately, all I've gained is Ryan becoming a better friend and finding the unfriendlier side of Fallon. Not much bonding has happened at all. Even those months ago when my mom lay in that hospital bed, almost dying three times, then slowly recovering from that stroke, I barely heard a comforting word from either of them. ...I remember coming home one night after I was with Dad. We happened to meet at the hospital and he treated me to dinner at Baker's Square. He told me there that Mom was going to live...but if she didn't wake up or fully recover that she would need to be put in a nursing home. That broke my heart. I went back to the apartment and quietly made my way back to my room after having a short greeting with Ryan. There, next to my door, I sat and hugged my knees tightly, quietly sobbing to myself. I don't think they ever knew I was there doing that.
Even during this entire time I haven't even hugged them once. Oh yeah, that's another thing I've found while here: I'm a touchy sort of person. I've found I love hugs. ...but they distance themselves from me sometimes, it seems like. At times they'll come and go without so much even a "hey Mikey" or "see you later! We're going to the store for a little bit." If it was something small like that, they didn't even invite me to go along, even if I was sitting there bored stiff...whenever that would be.
...but you know...I think they've realized this as of late too. I've noticed both of them talking somewhat more to me, showing me things, inviting me to do stuff. The other day Fallon actually invited me to go with them to her mom's house so that we could go swimming. I thought that was great! It was a beautiful day for it too; the sun was so hot I was literally dripping sweat wearing the bare minimals for this first-story big-windowed closed little room. A very cool (the temperature kind) pool like that was just what I needed! And I found out that Fallon likes the Chemical Brothers. Those guys are pretty cool (the slang, if you would).
Ryan and I have been trying to score a fighting game for the Dreamcast off ebay lately. If you know a little bit about fighting video games, we're trying to get an S.N.K. game called "Garou", which is actually Fatal Fury 4. I've seen what it looks like on the NeoGeo, and I imagine it would be a lot smoother on the Dreacast, graphics-wise, at least. Ryan has really gotten me into fighting games these past couple months. Ever since we got a copy of "Capcom vs. S.N.K 2" for the Dreamcast, he's been consistenly challenging me, and we've both been learning from each other, getting slowly better each time. He's taught me a lot about fighting games, the stories of different games, the history of some, controller technique, "awesome poses", and other stuff. And I've found that Dan is probably the best character of all time. And for all you who read this and have no idea what I'm talking about...hee!
Oh yeah! Speaking of Ryan, with this newfound time off, he's been having me roleplay some in his online rpg. I've explained what this basically is in my previous journals, so read there for a description (I don't like repeating lengthy explanations of things, ha). He's doing a sequel to "Blue", his first big rpg he did since I had moved in. He has placed this as very well his best rpg ever so far. I made a character when he started that, but it being my first one, it wasn't all that great. A somewhat whiny and weak bard named "Serkeft". And in this whole time...he's done nothing really great. The first "Blue" actually could have gone basically the exact same way if Serkeft had never been in it. Ryan, if you look back at the plot, you'll see he changed nothing that happened, didn't have any sway; all he did was basically just annoy people. No, really.
Man, that's what seperates me from my roommates a lot: work. Usually Fallon sleeps until noon or after, and Ryan is at work in the mornings until 2 in the afternoon, so the first half of the day I don't get to see my roommates...if I'm...up that early. 2 o'clock comes around, Ryan returns, and if I managed to sleep that late, usually around then or a little after I'll wake up to the sound of him and Fallon talking, since their voices do a better job apparently than the three alarm clocks that went off earlier that morning. I get up, find something to wear, then remember there might be a few errands I need to run. I go do that. I return to the apartment at maybe 5 or 6, maybe just at 6:30. If it's 1830 hours (6:30), that gives me just enough time to find my work uniform, change, find a nametag, and head out the door. "Have fun at work," Ryan will chime as I leave. "...or...something like that." "Thanks," I'll reply back. "Something like that." And then it's to work.
See how I don't see them much? Ryan has his computer in a section attached to the living room, so I see him as I enter and leave the apartment. It used to be weird watching tv or playing video games in there, because he was always there, and thus, I felt that something always needed to be said or some sort of conversation needed to be reached. But nowadays, I've found we're both pretty comfortable with just maybe saying something to each other once in awhile or commenting on something, whether it be about the computer or tv. We're friends, y'know?
Fallon unfortunately is stationed at the complete opposite end of the apartment. She has her computer in her room near the front of the apartment building, looking out at the street if she desires. If I see her, it's when I'm walking into my room. I can wave and say "hey Fallon" as I'm passing by. She returns with a "hey Mikey". I know she does a lot of stuff on her computer, so usually I don't see her out in the living room or elsewhere. It would be pretty odd-sounding to say "hey Fallon, wanna watch some tv or play video games", so the extent we get to see each other is mostly online basically. She has told me before, though, that if I ever want or need to talk about anything, she's willing to let me in to go talk. She encourages it, even! I'm living here with them; we might as well be open and sociable with each other!
It's weird, though. You folks have probably had this happen to you some times before. You're with somebody and you're friends, but there's times, sometimes moreso than not, you find you have nothing to say to each other, nothing to start or maintain a conversation. But then other times you talk about some small or trivial thing, and then you find that you can't stop conversing and the hours contendly and happily go by. That's the way it is over here. Sometimes Ryan or Fallon and I might be somewhat silent with each other; other times we'll be chatting it up. It just happens.
That's why it's the unfortunate thing I don't physically get to be in the vicinity around Fallon too much. We don't get to interact much. And when we're online there are other people there in those chatrooms, so we don't get to talk a lot, just us. And it's not like I should just walk into her room and be like "hey let's converse" because that's just...um, no, not normal. I'll regret not having been able to bond more with Fallon like I have with Ryan. It's a shame...but at least we'll still be able to see each other online on those irc servers like we all do. That's the meeting place for our group of friends and people.
Well this entry has certainly ended differently than I thought it would. I'm going to miss them...really am.
Oh, before I end, I'd just like to say that I'm thinking about an online friend/acquaintance I know who is known as "Ian J." (you in-the-know know exactly who that is, don'tcha :) ). Right now he's going through some personal problems, and he seemed pretty down the other night. I pray that he's going to be all right.
Well, it's two hours after I first started this entry, off and on working on it. I think I'm going to give it a rest for now. I think that this has been my longest entry so far into this journal. These sorts of entries this long were the norm some times in my previous journals...I usually do this when I have a lot to say or let you people know about. But I usually always have a lot of knowledge, right? ...'least I like to think so. Well anyways, I'm signing off. And to my roommates...I love ya guys. Honestly. See you folks later, and God bless! :)
End of entry