Mikey (neomikey) wrote,

Still an exile

As I sit here in this cup-like futon at 3:06 in the morning, watching the forums...I can't help but feel like Bill Murray in "Lost in Translation". There is so much going on, like a culture of human beings like myself, but with trends and traditions that are completely beyond me. I understand it, but don't. I'm currently finding myself unable to integrate.

Today was a full day. I woke up early (...for me...), and tried to get to a work meeting. One mistake, a detour, and fifteen minutes later, I found the place, and thus my day got started off with a Pizza Hut pep rally. I went in, and found myself seating...myself at a lone portion of a table, mostly away from just about everybody else in the room. I felt awkward while there, like I was the mismatched sock out of the other one hundred pairs in the room...but at the same time, I felt myself blending in. To obscurity, I might have hoped.

After I left, the place being by Grandma's, I stopped by to see her and say "hello". Conversation was awkward...but my grandma is aging, her brain isn't like it used to be, and she also told me she wasn't feeling too well. She wasn't specific, except telling me her stomach wasn't upset when I had asked her. Her cat, Tiger, actually came out of hiding, surprise, surprise, and he actually wanted to be pet and given attention. As skittish as tiger-striped cat can be at times, when he wants to, he can be very loving and affectionate. I was pleasantly surprised.

Grandma also talked to me a little about the new John Grisham book that had come out. I forget the name, but it's set in the same town as "A Time to Kill", one of Grisham's earlier works, was set in. She told me it went for $20-something normally, actually almost $30, but my aunt had got it online, and thus it was way cheaper.

I really wish I could talk to my grandma better. She's such a great lady, with a big and large gold-plated heart. Not many folks I've seen take her entirely seriously, and not without due cause, either. I personally think that's sort of sad, being that she's such a great person. I remember...I did an interview with her about her life in an 11th grade English class...but...I can't remember much of what she told me. For those of you who do, please pray for my grandma.

I had lunch today. I stopped by a place called "Maple Tree" something-or-other that's on Route 6. It used to be a buffet. I found out...their chicken-fried steak isn't bad. I had forgotten what brunch tasted like, much less breakfast. The food...was delicious to me. From the eggs to hashbrowns to the toast with these tasty jam packets, I found it all...great.

I stopped by Chesterton later on to pick up Sam Price's girlfriend Fini from the train station. Last time I had picked her up, I drove her back to Valpo in a mostly completely quiet car, most of the conversation being provided by the radio to our ears. I've found silence, whether alone, in public, or awkwardly with another person, has been happening a lot more noticeably in my life. At times, it's like I'm losing touch with knowing how to interact with other human beings. It's actually a scary feeling...sort of lonely too. The more I think about it...actually, the less my outlook on life is relating to "Lost in Translation".

This time, though, I had previously found out that Fini enjoyed anime, so I started a conversation, beginning with the movie I rented today, "Milennium Actress". I haven't watched it yet, but I've been told by everybody they had fallen in love with the movie. Apparently even more than Miyizaki films, i.e., "Castle in the Sky", i.e., the movie I had ranted on and on about a few months ago. Fini and I were able to talk mostly well then. I wonder if there is a thing as "conversation compatability".

I stopped by Shaun's place, and had started his internet radio broadcast. He had invited me yesterday to co-host with him. I did...and I personally thought it did well. We topped out at four listeners, but it was still a really pretty fun time. He ran a short and sweet contest concerning haikus about McDonald's. I was disqualified automatically, being that I was helping run the show, but I still wrote some. And I even got a few friends to join in--ah, actually just one friend.

Ninjas. White Sox versus the Cubs. A Sports Illustrated "swimsuit edition" in a grade school. Reality shows. Haikus, fast food, syllables, and monkeys. I think that covers most of what went on during the show.

I worked tonight, and closed. There was a girl at work who had been really nice to me; she's one of the only people there who notices me by myself at times. "Why don't you sit at the normal break table with everyone else," she had asked me before. I couldn't answer her then...though if I could go back, maybe I would say I was shy? I don't know.

Today when I went on break, the break table was filled with napkins and silverware as she nimbly folded them with learned efficiency. I sat at a booth, partially secluded by the lonely electronic order-taking screen behind me. I bowed my head and prayed quietly a few moments before I began eating, and when I lifted my head, I heard behind me, "What do you pray about before you eat?"

I turned around, pausing a moment, then answered, "Well, I thank God for the food. Plus I also pray for other little things. Tonight, I saw some accidents out there. I prayed for them."

"Oh, that's awesome!" she cheerily replied. Then she went back to folding her napkins around the silverware. It's not every day a person who is from a group of people who's seen me fade into the background actually reaches out. I wanted to continue the conversation, but I wasn't sure what to say. Still, though...it really touches me she does talk to me, and more than in a "How are you?" sense.

I'm sorry if today's entry didn't make much sense or have legitimate form. It currently is pretty late, and I didn't get much sleep last night. Maybe today was an introspective day. I know it wasn't introverted--this is somehow the norm for me when I'm by myself. Tomorrow...hopefully I'll post again. I need to write in my journal more. I might be of not many words, but I am of plenty thoughts. An old friend, from another time and another place, named Rena, told me those words. She was an anime sensei to me. I hope to see her again some time.

People, please do take care. I'll attempt to be more coherent in my next entry. Yes, Biccy, I'll try to shorten it as well. Have a nice day, or night, or whenever you're reading this. Have a nice and happy 24-hour extended period of time.

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