Mikey (neomikey) wrote,

That would rock

The other day, one of the new drivers, a kind girl by the name of Rachel, asked me in complete seriousness if I was married. o_O She's engaged, though, so no commentary from you people!!

Well, nothing much again to report over here. I've been working. Yup! And still, I find it odd that though I've been there over a year, I have almost no interesting stories at all! I mean...it's pizza delivery! I go to many, many people's houses! Hotels too! Maybe even a thousand or two deliveries by now, I'm sure. And yet...I don't have any cool stories! This is the stuff that anecdotes are made of! And the most I can talk about is people's pets or that one house I delivered to where everyone was drunk and yelling.

Maybe some day, I'll happen to deliver to the right house, and just as I go up to the door, pow, some lady willl crash through the door, going backwards, firing guns slowly in bullet time, as guys with suits and dark sunglasses chase after her. Then she'll be all, "I don't have time to explain! You need to get me out of here!" And then I'm all "okay!!" And we dash to my car and drive off, while those other guys give chase in heavy, black Buicks...and there's this cool action down Willowcreek and onto Central where we're all battling it out, and eventually they get ran off the road and into that one lone Dairy Queen by JJ's, and it turns out I just saved that lady's life, who actually was carrying top-secret plans that got stolen that detail a terrible, walking tank doomsday machine, and she's all, "You're in too deep now. You're going to have to come with and help me, or you'll die." And Steven Segall is the main bad guy, because he's always in bad action flicks, and commands an army of ninjas to try and stop us so he could get those plans back and finally destroy the world, because he's angry like that, but, because we're just two people who are going against an army, in the end we win, after going against a giant mecha monstrocity with cannons, lasers, and flamethrowers, yeah, and as we stand on some boat, racing away from his floating fortress as it explodes, then burns and slowly sinks into the sea, it's mentioned something about how it's sad it had to come to all that, and then we go grab cheesecake at Barnes & Nobles, because they have awesome cheesecake, even if they charge you entirely way, way too much to buy just a small piece.

...yeah. That'd rule.

In the meanwhile, go check this out. A brief conversation between my friend and I the other day.

Friend: what's this about an abortion?
Me: Oh. Well, you guys got/were gonna get an abortion, weren't you?
Friend: an abortion of what?
Me: ...well...I remember Lisa talking about Planned Parenthood, and all o_O
Friend: ummm for birth control dumb[rump]
Me: Oh
Friend: DUMB[posterior end]
Me: Well I didn't know! XD That's why I wanted to ask ya about that!!
Friend: republicans don't get abortions
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