Mikey (neomikey) wrote,

"Hey! Stickboy!"

I suppose in this update entry, I'll get straight to the point. I admit to you all...I'm a little insecure.

You see, back in the day some 23 years ago, I was born with this makeup of genetics. There's nothing really wrong about me, and a lot of the time I'm thankful for what I've been given. I consider myself semi-bright, half-attractive, I have the thickest hair any barber has seen (they tell me that every time I go in...), and my parents are okay folks too. But...there's something with me that a lot of people have rolled their eyes at when I confess I have a problem with it, and that is that I'm skinny.

I'm something of a boney guy--long and lanky, thin limbs, long and skinny fingers, and I slouch a little. Not that there's anything seriously wrong with that, I'm thankful that I'm in okay health. But...well, throughout my life it's not been anything I much paid much attention to and always figured I was the same as everyone else...which was why when it finally was brought to my attention, it was something of a shock for me.

Whether I wanted them to or not, I've been called a "freak" by a variety of folks my entire life. I realize that the way my body is might be something of an oddity to folks out there. I hated gym class back...well, throughout all of school, because I got picked on a lot because of how I was made and also because I had a distaste for sports (with how they treated me, gee, I wonder why), I've gotten comments from folks if I have my shirt off, and I'm sure there's likely more said while I'm not listening. One time in school I heard some girl whisper to someone as I went by, "Hey, it's Gumby." And I don't know how many times I've been told by overweight people "I'll trade you". Sometimes, though...I wonder if I really would rather too much than too little.

Now that I'm jobless and have all this free time, I've wondered if maybe I should start going to work out. There's a place not far away from here called "The Fitness Barn". It's true, though, that I'm a little stronger than I look, but unfortunately that doesn't account for much. In the meanwhile, I see these guys walking around with all this muscle tone. I saw a couple episodes of "Smallville", and there's Clark Kent without a shirt on with a fully sculpted body that's pure fanservice for all the girls out there. There's that new "Into the Blue" movie where good-looking people walk around in swimwear the whole movie (...though the movie is absolutely terrible I've heard, don't see it!). And granted, yeah, I know that the media hardly ever reflects real life...but it would still kind of be nice to have, even just a little bit, instead of being all these guys' polar opposite.

Really, though...it's not something I dwell on terribly much. Like I said, I've been this way my whole life. Yet now that I have this time to think, plus wondering what people might think of me when they meet me in-person...it just does unsettle me a little bit. I still wouldn't mind going to go work out, though. But with all this, am I actually making a big a deal out of nothing...?
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.