That's right! Your average, normal, kind "Mikey" has a dark side, one that lashes out with inky blackness and festers about in the hidden, dark recesses of his mind. It's a part that doesn't come out much, but this despicable part of my brain wants to know...
Why are all the coffee machines gone?! T_T
No, no, really! In the front area of the library building here on campus, they had an alcove that had a bunch of vending machines. Recently, for reasons very unknown to me, they basically got carted out overnight! Folks know I'm an energetic person, and I hardly ever "need" the stimulant of caffeine in the morning. Sometimes, though, it perks me from "bleahhhh..." to "bleahhhh?", and I like "bleahhhh?" status over "bleahhhh...." I wouldn't mind this so much if, by total spontaneity, the other coffee machine of which I knew wasn't down too! Yeah! Without my normal machine, I trekked halfway across campus to the other building's cafeteria-like place (I usually chill with Hillary and Fawn there), actually had to borrow a quarter from Fawn who conveniently happened to be there so I could get the larger size, then...it's down! The blasted machine is down! I loveded you, French vanilla cappuccino! I loveded you! You break my heart, caffeine, you break my heart....
And speaking of money woes, I got myself a haircut. Yup! Good news--my hair doesn't stick up in random places anymore. Bad news--my hair is short and I miss my 80's anime hair. More bad news--fourteen bucks!! AGH!! No wonder I put it off for so long! I walked in there with a $20, then left with just enough to get myself a good fast food meal...and I've spent sixty cents of that already. Do you know what I could have done with that sixty cents?! And geesh I'm hungry right now. I could go to the campus cafeteria, but nooooo~, they like taking everything short of my firstborn! What they need is a system where you can pay in blood. Blood I have, and it would be less painful than what they do to my wallet.
And another thing! My monitor at home is going out! Sure, I have two, but I use both of them! That old Gateway monitor after all these long years is finally fritzing out. It'll give a high-pitched noise and the picture condenses and expands, rapidly scrolls, become unclear, and usually ends up on a black screen with a line in it. Usually when that happens I give the glass a nice, solid thump and it comes back...but what if some time it doesn't come back?! What if I'm just left with one monitor?! How am I supposed to use one monitor with a computer?! How could this happen to meeeeeeee? I made my mistakes! There's nowhere to run, the night goes on! This all is fading awayyyyyyy!
And also! Roller shoes! Those shoes with the wheelie dealies on the bottom! I think those are freaking cool! But why do they only come in kids sizes?! What if the older people wanna glide around too! I know I'd like to buy a pair! But instead...no, the internet spits in my face and kicks me in the shins...then takes my wallet and drinks delicious lukewarm coffee right in front of my face. HATE YUO, INTERNET! Websites didn't have my size, only kids, and neither did Ebay! ...well there was one pair, but I'm not gonna pay that for that! You'd figure there would be more of a selection out there, but nope, nope. What the crap, man, what the crap!
My life sucks! All of this is just coming together in a big heap of suckage! I don't think my life could get any worse than this. I want my shoes, I want my coffee, I want my money, I want, I want, I want! Whine! Moan, complain! Whine, whine, whine, complain, moan, grrr, grahh, displeased, complain, rawr, ergh, gragh! Whine whine whine! Whine! And another thing! Complain! Complain, whine, whine! It couldn't get worse when--complain, whine--and that's all. Stick a fork in me. I'm gonna go listen to Linkin Park!
(P.S.: This was all "satire" ;) ...but the issues brought up were true!!)
NOW! Bonus points to anyone who can creatively and constructively tell me to shut up! :D