Mikey (neomikey) wrote,

So what'll happen in the new Harry Potter book?

I'm not a fan of Harry Potter, but I did find out a couple interesting tidbits I thought I'd share with those of you who are. You see, Harry finds out that Vader is really his father, the psychiatrist was actually dead the whole time, the body lying in the middle of the floor was really alive, Rosebud is the old sled's name, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, Luna is Althena, Zelda is Sheik, Tyler Durden is imaginary, Racer X and Speed are brothers, the planet is actually Earth, Norman only imagines his mother, Frodo is consumed by the Ring, the human race is actually enslaved in a virtual reality program, the old narrator is really the young Tom Hanks, the girl is a guy, The Boss was actually on your side, the president is the third clone, the Colonel is a program, soylent green is people, Samus is a woman, Mr. Glass set up everything, everything on the tv is a video tape, it was just a dream, it's actually modern times, there are soldiers in the wooden horse, humans are the main component of an advanced computer, Max Winters is the immortal emperor, Maggie shot Mr. Burns, Doc Brown was wearing a bullet-proof vest, the Emperor is betrayed by his apprentice, Captain America dies, Jean dies, Wolfwood dies, Aeris dies, Trinity dies, Harry Osborne dies, Mace Windu dies, V dies, Old Yeller dies, Captain Ahab and the crew die, Neo (maybe) dies, Gandalf doesn't die, HAL is disconnected, Jack is eaten by the Kraken, and Snape kills Dumbledore!

...though of course, I could be wrong.
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