Mikey (neomikey) wrote,

I'm too young to turn 25, dangit!!

I fail. >_< I freaking fail. I keep on failing at stopping time and ensuring that the anniversary of my mom screaming in labor doesn't come. My improv time machine didn't work, my mental powers over time didn't work, and neither did simply asking time to stop. I also have a Superman t-shirt, yet I can't go so fast counter-rotation around the Earth that I reverse time! If I can't stop time...then next year, I'll have to turn 26!! =\ Do you know what that'll be like?!

I'm still young and thriving at heart, though. I imagine I'll be forever young in that aspect. I always tell people I'll be watching cartoons and playing videogames till the day I die.

Ahhh...but I know I've been losing my edge. Back some years ago, I was the best. There wasn't a system I couldn't be kept out of. My system only ran on a substandard processor with 2,000 bauds and I got connected to the internet through an underground phoneweb via a cross-over relay via a local network. It was amazing how I thought my 500 hertz modem was totally stellar. I remember hacking with an online gang into a megacorporation's database. They had watchdog progs set up to monitor the lines, but I managed to bypass them and blind their RAM. After dumping a sniffer auto-utility into their mainframe, I found my way in, then using a password creator with an Einsteinian logarithmic encoder, found their password, and accessed all of their nets. I totally ended up hacking their Gibson and seeing files in their folders (which were protected by maximum auto-feedback loop burner programs on their silver-wired hard disk drivers) that would send me straight to the CIA big house if I ever got caught. Heh, it's too bad for them they thought their 3,500-bit protection matrix could keep someone like me from their files. They apparently were stupid and didn't think someone could actually create a multi-layered anti-retroactive brute force hack utility with multiple port scouter capability and coded Duros-authenticated adaptability. My set-up made the people out in Korea gaze in wonder and want to give up their development of those Pratchett-Adams machines. I don't know what ever happened to those things....

Oh yeah, those were good times, good times.... It's a shame the world's a different place now, ain't it?
...for those who didn't get it, that's such a bullcrap hacker story XD
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